an open letter: to a loved one

How’s everything? I hope you are having a great day, wherever you are in the world. Thank you, for darting your eyes into this letter, I hope it’s worth your time.

I’m a mess.
I can’t read body language and eye stare or– of course, inside other human’s brain. But I’m also not good at verbalizing my own feelings to the other person either.

For most of the time, I’m just a clueless girl, who hates cheesy romance stories and never actually know what being loved feels like. I’ve never been in love, I bet you can tell. I have zero expectation of what it will turned out to be, but to be honest—it’s a scary feeling. To allowed your mind, body and you; as a whole person experienced something that isn’t familiar at all.

Some people said it’s a nice feeling. Others said, it’s not the best thing you’ve ever felt. I don’t know which one to believe.

What does it feels like to be in love and loved back at the same time?
Are you happy? Do you tell stories at night about how much you don’t want to lose the other person, but then you make promises you know you can’t keep for the rest of your life?

Does love works like that?

I want someone to not just saying everything will be okay again, but someone to make me believe that I need to climb out of the wall of sadness, to try again and don’t ever give up then finally lift myself up to the top; in order for everything to be okay again.

Then, what happened after a broken heart? Do you write love songs or sad poems or listen to mellow music at night while crying in the corner of your room?

How do you cure a broken heart? Will you ever be in love again at some point?

Tell me, boy. Because I need to know. I’m not ready to fall in love yet. But I also keep wondering, will I ever be loved by someone who accept me as who I am?

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